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I've started an article series on the beatitudes found in Matthew 5.

EMBRACING DISCIPLESHIP (Introduction)

What does it mean to follow Christ? It means we begin a life of discipleship. Discipleship is the precondition to following Christ. It is not an option but a command. We are called to be disciples…

THE POOR IN SPIRIT (Matthew 5:3)

As we follow Christ in discipleship, the first thing we must understand is that we are to fully dependent upon God. From within ourselves we are incapable of living the Christ-following life. We can only follow, when we understand our spiritual poverty…

THOSE WHO MOURN (Matthew 5:4) 

What does it mean to mourn? Jesus says Blessed are those who mourn. Hidden away in this statement are truths that provide meaning and purpose in our relationship with God. There is a comfort in living with Christ as our focus…

I hope these articles will be of value to you. I encourage you to read them...

Thanks,
Ashish

   This time, Decruz did not have to beg, plead, cajole, demand or ask for a blog post. The title happened because my brain is short on serotonin. That's one possible self diagnosed explanation. I'm also hoping that there will be more posts in the future. 

I will be doing a lot of thinking about dippu. haha. maybe. if i get time.

There are certain times in my life when I get a hint of my future. There are occassions when I get a small glimpse into what the future holds for me. Usually in these times, the wonder of this revelation in itself leaves me speechless and amazed. It’s in these moments I thank God for believing in me, and constantly reminding me of what He has for me. There are other times when you get a hint of your future, and you’re wondering what God was thinking of when He thought it up.

Deeper Walk

I went up to Vancouver this past weekend for a youth retreat. Deeper Walk, as it is called, is a wonderful time when kids from a couple churches in the Vancouver area come together. I’m honored to be a part it. This time when I went up, on the Saturday night after the retreat was over, Stephen, Samroon, Mark, and I decided to take a walk around downtown Vancouver, and just have a time with the guys if you will.

Vancouver Downtown

The first thing we did was go to a Falafel House, which if those reading don’t know, is a Greek food place. You get everything from Falafels to shawarmas to humus. I won’t be able to get into the details of the different variety of Greek foods I’ve mentioned, but it was definitely a mouth-watering experience. I love Greek food. After Greek food we decided to walk through Robson Street which is probably the coolest place to be if you love to shop. There are hundreds of people walking the streets.

Desperation

As we we were walking back to the car to head back to Richmond, this older lady, probably strung out on drugs, teeth missing, cuts along her neck, and bruises and decayed flesh along her calves, came up to us. She looked extremely desperate. She kept asking for something to eat and something to drink. Mark decided to buy her a coffee, and the whole time she began telling us her story of how she ended up on the streets of Vancouver. We weren’t sure what to believe from this lady, but all I could see in her eyes was a desperate hope that someone out there could provide for her.

It broke my heart. I would say it broke all of our hearts. Here was this lady walking along Robson Street, and most people on this street could care less about this poor lady. Most of us were here to go shopping not help the destitute along the street. How many other people like this were there, that most of us were giving a cold shoulder to? How many homeless people were walking this very street desperate for hope?

East Hastings

I couldn’t hold back the tears. I couldn’t begin to describe the agony of experience. We were planning to drive around to Stanley Park to see more of Vancouver, but this experience made us craving for more. Mark decided to take us to East Hastings Street. This is probably the worst part of Vancouver. The police actually bring the drugged out and diseased people here. It’s like this huge ghetto where you find prostitutes, druggies, homeless, and other people randomly walking the streets.

You could see the hopelessness in these people. It was infectious. We drove by another part of town, and Mark told us that this was a hub for Internet pornography. That just hurt me even more. I never realized it when I lived there, but there’s this hopelessness that pervades the atmosphere in Vancouver. It’s just this nagging heavy feeling that just keeps you gloomy. Mark said it best: “There’s just a spirit of death here in Vancouver.”

I’m called to this?

Throughout the whole ordeal, I realized a thing or two. I feel like I’m called to eventually come back to Vancouver, and as this night progressed I realized that this chaos, evil, and hopelessness I witnessed would become part of my story. Not because I would be drawn into that lifestyle, but that my job would be to rescue such as these. It hit me because I realized that my life would be given to this cause.

I felt fearful. I felt pained. I was thinking; “God I don’t want to do this! Isn’t the job of a minister anymore glamorous? Why do you want me to get involved with the worst of the worst?” In my heart of hearts I began to see where my future was headed, but in my mind I wished I never ever saw it. I had a date with my destiny and I left with a feeling of anguish. I realized, “I’m not as compassionate as I thought I am”. I realized, “I’m not as loving as I claim to be”.

The thing about God is that He asks you to do something that is harder than anything you could ever do on your own strength. For Abraham this was sacrificing his own son. For Jesus it was dying on the cross. Abraham had to trust God that He would raise Isaac again. Jesus had to trust His Father’s will and follow-through.

I’m not capable of what God has called me to. I can believe I am, but I’m not. The only strength I have is Christ and His grace. I hope that when I get a chance to have another date with my destiny, I’ll have a little more compassion. Until then all I can rely on is the hope and trust I have in Christ Jesus. I’ve laid my future in His hands and I’m willing to follow it…

 this is a blog post from my website...I hope it will strengthen you in your Christian journey

Every few months I go through a period of reassessment and reflection. For the last couple weeks, this reassessment has been prolonged I guess. Somehow I lost the love of the Father in me, and I had to refocus and reorganize my life and once again be captivated by Christ’s love. I lost my dad two years ago. The pain I still feel from that loss silently stings me everyday. Consequently I let other people in my life take the place of God and who He was. I was receiving approval, acceptance, and love from the wrong sources. I tried to have father figures take the place of my earthly father.

When I was at camp before school started the Lord did a deep work in me. I realized that God was my Father. He told me that He was the one who would take that place. I began the journey of accepting my fatherlessness and accepting that God was now my Father. I began praying prayers addressing God as Dad, Daddy, and Abba. This revelation has liberated me deeply. I’ve come closer to knowing God in the quietness of my own loss and hurt.

Truth be told, I never connected well with my earthly father. I had transferred that same doubt, the doubt that maybe I wouldn’t connect, to God. At camp, God began the process of capturing that special place I had for my father. In doing so, God opened up a lot of closed rooms in my heart. Rooms of self-hate, rooms of self-deception, rooms of self-degradation. I began the process of loving myself.

The one word I can think of that corresponds to this season of my life is Unmasking. I’m unmasking myself to the love of God…to the love of my Father…to the love of my Abba. The more I think about it the more I cannot understand it. There are days when I just engage my mind in the question, “God why do you love me?” This season of my life has been one of questioning. For a while I actually felt as if I was a walking surgery. I felt the Lord dealing with me in deep areas of identity and purpose and self-worth, and I felt for days as if I was in my most vulnerable state. God was doing a ‘live surgery’ on my heart if you will.

God has taken on a whole new meaning for me. The religiousity of my faith is slowly passing as I learn to love God because He loves me. I’m learning to accept the Fatherhood of God as I accept that God truly likes me. I’ve begun the journey of struggling with myself and asking myself questions that delve into the core of my being. This season has not been an easy one. I know I’ll never be the same. God has done a deep work in me.

I think for the last few years, God’s let me see myself through rose-colored glasses. He let me see my God-infused side of me. He gave me an idea of where He wanted me to go. Now I think God’s letting me see myself for who I truly am right now. He’s letting me look into the mirror and see my imperfections. He’s letting me take a good look at my crooked fingers, my bruises, and my disfigurements. He’s unmasked the very core of me and quieted the impostor that constantly tells me I’m something I’m not. He’s given me a chance to see my broken self, and it’s been the hardest season of my life. I’ve struggled the most with my identity, but as a friend told me best, “God’s clearing the airwaves so He can impart to you a crystal-clear image”. I truly believe that.

So where to now…I’m finally understanding how weak I truly am. I am so weak. I’m weaker than I could ever put into words. I’m amazed at how far God has brought me. He’s kept me secure in His love, and all I could ever ask is for more and more of it. I need it…desperately…exquistely…scandalously. I finish with these words in a repetition:

Abba…Abba…I belong to you
Abba…Abba…I belong to you
Abba…Abba…I belong to you

I might have just seen the most riveting video ever. If you want to make a movie trailer-- take some hints from these people:

 A few things about the concept of a camp about Jesus: For me, the closest I have probably come to this sort of thing is Vacation Bible School. My first VBS ever was in Delhi, India. My only memory from that experience was punching a kid in the stomach and making him cry. I have since repented and moved on. Watching the video, you have to keep an open mind not just about the subjects of the film but also the film makers themselves. To set the stage, two people: Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady follow three young people along with their parents to a "Kids on Fire" camp run by a pastor named Becky Fischer. I am unsure if the two film makers had any agendas other than just to present the camp to the world. The film is called Jesus Camp and you can find their main website here. The movie looks good from the preview and I intend on watching it when it comes out.

 
What you'll find even more interesting, fellow Dippu-ers, is that our local Indian church here in Portland held their VBS a couple of years back. Our theme was "Boot Camp": very similar in that we were preparing young kids to become soldiers for God. "I'm in the Lord's Army, yes SIR!" sort of stuff. This camp looks like a pretty elaborate setup with face paint, body worship, skits, and impressive young kids. I was really impressed by the young kid on the mike who is absolutely passionate about what he's saying. My only fear is that many non-Christians might see these people and think that we believe our enemies are actual human beings rather than sin and Satan himself. Before you get that unsettling feeling in your gut that I got watching the video first, consider if non Christian film makers brought a camera to a Malayalee Pentecostal gathering? Why is it that this hasn't happened yet? Are they not the most intriguing group one can find in the United States? I'm waiting for "Kathiripu Yogam the Movie" but until then this seems like a good choice.

Dear readers, its due time that I confess something to you all. I used to be a fan of rap music. Yes, I know the questions will soon start pouring in: "How stupid were you, DeCruz?" or "Now I know why you turned out that way" All well deserved quips, and I suspect that I shall hear them for the rest of my life. Somewhere around my middle school years, I had judged from the progress my friends were making that in order to be "cool" one had to listen to rap music. This notion continued well into my sophomore year of high school which is where my story really begins. See, my story is about my  attitudes before and after a life changing event. I had a habit back then of turning on my tiny clock radio before I went to sleep so I could wake up with Jammin 95.5's "Playhouse" program early in the morning. So, fatefully, on the night of September 10th, I went to sleep listening to Slow Jams. Now I'm not sure about this but I think I can, based on previous evidence, claim that they probably played LL Cool J that night. They always do. I went to sleep peacefully that night, fully expecting to wake up to the usual tomfoolery on morning radio. They would probably do a few prank calls on people, perform stupid stunts with their fat chum "Scooter", and finish it off with some good hip hop.

As I awoke on the morning of September 11th, 2001, I had only one question after I had fully woken up: "What happened to the obnoxious banter?" Actually, to be completely honest, I didn't say that. I think I managed to squeak out a groggy "Wha--?" Instead of Scooter being strapped to the top of a truck which would go at high speeds along Portland city streets, I heard him speaking softly. Everyone else was also strangely quiet. Recollecting now, it's hard to remember a full sentence. I remember words like "planes" or "terrorists". I remember hearing sentences that seemed to have question marks floating in the air. I arose, still in shorts, and ran to the television room. "Mummy! Did you he-" My question was answered for me by the pictures of the two towers in flames. I stood there in utter disbelief as I watched the events unfold on live television. With shame, I remember my first thought when I saw the World Trade Center under attack: "Man, imagine the movie they're gonna make about this." For the first time in my life, I saw that the world had been equaled in it's helplessness and fearfulness. The wealth, security, and status that had separated one person from another had been destroyed by passenger jets turned into missiles. I got ready and headed out to school. I had never seen my high school like this. Wild rumors and theories were flying around everywhere about a plane headed towards Oregon. In another example of me using the worst possible humor at the worst times, I quipped, "What are they gonna hit? The fairgrounds? Most Americans don't even know that Oregon is a state in the Union."

Once everyone in the classroom had finished giving me dirty looks, our eyes were focused once more on the sight before us. A teacher stated the obvious: "Like it or not, you guys are witnessing history." I sat back and thought about listening to Slow Jams the night before; the spoken word of  LL Cool J and the croonings of 112 were all trivial compared to this. Thousands of people had lost their lives in an instant and absolutely nothing else seemed to matter. This was my generation moment. The "where were you when this happened?" moment. The rest of that week is a blur now: a lot of hype, a lot of American flags being waved, my Iraqi friend coming to my house because his parents wouldn't let him go to school since being Middle Eastern and living in America wasn't exactly the best combination at that point. "It's the Sunnis man, I swear it, it's those Sunnis-- they always do stuff like this." I said nothing and simply listened. The world would never be the same for my Iraqi friend and I.

That night, before I went to sleep, I went turned to my clock radio to turn my volume up like I always did. I stopped and listened closely: there were no Slow Jams, just more talking. I turned off the clock radio and laid back, still wide awake and staring into the darkness. I had heard enough banter for one day.

With the Mumbai bombings that have happened in these recent days, we would like to ask the readers if you know anything about the situation that's going on there. With the death toll now at 200+, we must ask questions once again with regards to growing world terrorism. Please feel free to respond in any way you see fit...we welcome your story. If you have pictures from the blast...please let us know your web url so we can show those pictures here on Dippu.

When 9/11 happened here in America, all of us felt the pain and scars. Right now all of us here would like to say that we grieve with those who have lost loved ones and are praying for all of you who have been affected by this situation.

with love,
dippuTeam

Living in America, many times as Christians we forget the plight of those serving the Lord in hostile environments. We can look to the believers in Islamic nations, we can think of the brutal reign of Communism in China, or we can even see the persecution in India. As believers in a 'blessed' nation where we have freedoms to live out our faith, we must consider the situation of those who live in hard situations. It remains our job to pray for them. Here at Dippu, we would like to bring you the story of one man who is serving the Lord in Jammu. He serves in an environment where Buddhism, Islam, and Hinduism are well established. His heart is for the poor and destitute.

 After the Bible Class we all went to our respective buildings for rest and individual prayer. Suddenly Police Officials, News Media People and Shiva Sena, RSS, Bajrang Dal people came and began to question Pastors and believers. Police Officials cancelled the permit given to us to conduct the meeting and ordered us to remove immediately the tent and all other equipments from the play ground where meeting was arranged. The Lord told me to close the meetings and send the people to their respective places immediately. The big crowd of children of God began to move with their luggage to the Bust Stand and Railway Station. The number of the hostile people began to increase rapidly. I also came to Meerut Railway Station with some people. My Son Finney- Mathew Samuel and two Evangelists named Balkar Singh and Malkan Singh stayed behind to check whether any people or equipment left behind. The Shiva Sena, RSS and Bajrang Dal people caught these three servants of God and beaten them very badly without any mercy. They took them to a secluded place to kill them but God intervened and created confusion among them.  They had beaten Finney very badly because they saw him standing with me on the stage and translating the message. Then they took these three servants of God to the police station and put them in prison charging that they tried to convert people. In the meanwhile Pastor Hansraj Saini reached the Police Station to enquire about the three servants of God. The hostile people caught him also and put him in prison. The big crowd of hostile people continued to shout slogans till midnight out side the Police Station. It was a very hard time for these servants of God to spend the night in prison because they were suffering from severe pain in their body due to persecution.  The next evening they were released from prison but the charges against them is yet to be withdrawn officially. My Son Finney’s condition is serious. His head and neck is swollen and due to giddiness it is very difficult for him to stand up properly. Evangelists Balkar Singh and Malkan Singh are also suffering with severe body pain. I request you to pray for their quick recovery. Due to this sudden attack on us, a huge amount of money was spent for the arrangement and travelling expenses for the meeting. Here in North India we are facing severe opposition from all side. Police and Government Officials are also against us. Among the believers of our Churches, majority are from Hindu or Sikh back ground. We did not convert any one from their religion to Christian religion. They accepted Jesus Christ as the only true God and Saviour and do not visit Temples and Gurudwaras as they used to do before. Therefore, the Police Officials, Government Officials and hostile people raise complaints against us with the allegation of converting people. The Officials are making plans to arrest us and put us in the prison under Anti Conversion Law. In Jammu city, this week we divided the believers into eight worship groups so that they may worship God secretly. The situation is very tense. The new believers are facing severe persecutions from their own people.  We are sharing all the burdens together. At any cost, people should know the way of salvation. Friends, we are in the midst of great turbulence of persecution. We need more grace and boldness to face this situation. I plead with you to pray and intercede for us during this hour of great trouble.

Pastor A.M. Samuel 

As we read of such situations, our hearts must be stirred to prayer for our brothers and sisters in the Lord. It remains our duty to pray. We just want to remind you that even though there is persecution, Christianity is still changing lives, transforming cities, and shaking nations. This above example is just one story. There are countless other stories like it.

So let's pray and ask God for protection for Pastor A.M. Samuel, and let us take some time to pray for all our brothers and sisters around the world who are persecuted for the sake of Christ. 

A Blatant Misunderstanding

Christianity in the Western mindset has reached a misunderstanding of sorts. Intellectuals consider us half-minded, while the downtrodden consider us half-hearted. We have denominations for every wind of doctrine, and churches for every bizarre personal liking. Christians are some of the most misunderstood people, in my opinion, in our Western culture. Somewhere in this maze of misconstrued opinions, Christians have to rise up and realize the fate to which they are headed. Somehow this predicament is not realized uniquely from without, but begins clearly from within.

It is clear that culture is heading down a morbid path, and that the assumptions they make of Christians are aligned to that, but as Christians, we must question why culture views us this particular way. Why are we at times disconnected from our calling to change our society? Why are we satisfied with the way things are going? Does the environment not call for a change in our Christian impetus? In our ministerial emphases, we must focus on reaching the human condition, we must develop the whole man, and we must step away from a Greco-Roman mindset.

Minister to the Human Condition

When a Christian evangelizes to the lost, the key elements of the salvation message should be coupled with a ministry to the human condition. In our day and age, many Christians are considered hypocrites by the world. During the time of the Early Church in the book of Acts, Christians were known for their love for one another, even more so than for truth or power. Christianity needs to return to the grassroots level from where it began.

How does a Christian minister to the human condition rather than just the spiritual condition? To begin with, our evangelistic approaches must take into account that Christ fed the hungry, healed the sick, raised the dead, and ate with the worst sinners of society. Many times in our faith, we are waiting for decisions to be made, rather than ministering to the human condition. We only love the lost because we want to use that as a tool to get them saved. Our aim should be to love them no matter what their decision is towards Christianity.

If as Christians we can get to the place where we truly love the sinner but hate the sin, we will have successfully illustrated Christian love to the world. If, however, we use our Christian love as a tool to affect the sinner, we are not truly loving them. Jesus loved the world from a truly God-oriented mindset. Even when a person rejected Him, His love for them superseded their decision. If as Christians we can get to the place where we love the world, not for any particular motivation, but out of a truly awesome desire to illustrate Christ’s love to the world, then we will have moved towards ministering to the human condition.

Disciple the Whole Man

Churches have become a place where we preach moralism and salvation. Why is it that scientists cannot consider the church a place where they can be educated? Preposterous you say? Well then let me ask it another way. Why do churchgoers not consider a scientific laboratory a religious place of worship? We are to minister to the whole man. Many people from different walks of life do not find comfort in the church when it comes to their area of expertise. In the Western Church, well educated professionals rarely find comfort in a church that focuses on just the spiritual condition of the believer. The church must develop a way to incorporate all aspects of developing the whole man. Intellectual, social, and physical development must be incorporated into our Christian framework. The Greek way of thinking was that we could compartmentalize our spirituality from our physicality, which in turn was separate from our intellect.

Christ came to develop the whole man, not just the spiritual side of man. As the living representation of Christ, the church must develop ways to disciple the whole man. We must preach Christ crucified, as well as emphasize that our minds need to be sharpened daily. Christians in an average Western church are ignorant of societal needs, have very little place for education, could care less about global events, and are frequently considered the simple-minded in a increasingly information-savvy society. If Christianity would like at all to be influential in the Western society, it must develop the whole man, not just the moralistic or spiritual side of him.

Break The Greco-Roman Mindset

Right now in the Western Church there is an emphasis on being up to date with all the right ‘things,' rather than on developing a right heart. Our impetus has transferred from worshiping God to having the right sound in our musical presentation. Our focus has transferred from preaching a convicting message that illustrates the heart of God to incorporating an adequate amount of the world into our message to keep the audience listening to what we have to say. We have focused on the wrong thing, and in this sense have become hypocritical.

The best way to counter this mindset in our Christianity is to understand why Jesus did things the way He did. We will have become pharasaical if our perfectionism and materialism supersede the right heart and attitude in doing what we do. Christians in the West must understand the motives behind their actions. If we can get our focus right, then we will have securely broken the Greco-Roman mindset of having the right ‘things’ rather than the right heart.

Breaking the Mold

The Christian who can effectively counter the misunderstanding, will achieve far more than one who doesn’t. If we desire to see a revolution, Christians must adamantly minister to the human condition, disciple the whole man, and break the Greco-Roman mindset that entangles the church. Our job is to be salt and light. Since we are Christ’s representation to the world today, we must become more and more like Him; not by our strength for we are limited, but by the power of the Holy Spirit working in and through us. Christians need to break the mold, and become the salt and light that we were destined to be.
 

Once in a while, an occasion comes along that forces me to examine myself. We all have these moments-- in a matter of minutes, seconds even, we find ourselves shocked to the core. Our comfort zones are not so comfortable anymore. Think of us, we who are the Desi Diaspora scattered across the continents living lives that our forefathers could not possibly fathom. The church of our fathers that lives on in North America and around the world. The point, simply put, is this: these moments I speak of, define our character which in turn determine our destinies. I sit in Portland, Oregon, at five in the early morning. And as I type this, there is a man thousands of miles away sitting in a maximum security prison cell. He is waiting while the world watches. He waits on his fate, which he has seemingly accepted. I am one with this man. He is my brother, my comrade, my hero, and a true living saint. I want you to take a good look at the picture of this man:

He is a better man than I. He found the Lord Jesus Christ in Germany sixteen years ago. Very recently, he was turned over to the Afghan authorities accused of being a Christian. His response?

"I am a Christian and I believe in Jesus Christ."

With a simple statement like that, Abdul Rahman has become a living saint in my eyes. A man of character, a man with much more strength and endurance than any athlete. I sense the clarity and the strength of his statement sitting thousands of miles away. A man who has been abandoned by his family and his country. There are many like him all over the world, their tears and prayers may have not been heard or seen by me, but God sees it.  I want you to take a look at his face again. I want you to think of this man as your brother. I want you to remember him by name and pray for him along with your family every night. Before you pray for your children, before you pray for your needs; Pray for Abdul Rahman.

Our people's Christianity has become a casual Christianity. Certainly, we have the fixtures of real spirituality. Our churches have our legal traditions and our attachment to our so called heritage. Abdul Rahman reminds us that Christianity is not just another -ity... it is a radical life. Here is a man who lives and is willing to- die for Christ. I wish to emulate him.

 One more thing, Abdul has been moved to a maximum security prison and here is a bit in the news story I read that you should find interesting:

Gen. Shahmir Amirpur, who is in charge of Policharki, confirmed the move and said Rahman had also been begging his guards to provide him with a Bible.

I leave you with a question. How many bibles do you have in your home? And how desperate are you to get a hold of one and meditate on it?

Death To Self

For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like men condemned to die in the arena. We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to men. We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world.
I Corinthians 4:9-13 (NIV)

What would merit a man like the learned apostle, the former persecutor of the saints, and now bright shining star for the gospel, to so willfully proclaim his nothingness to the readers in the church at Corinth? How could so great a man allow himself to travel the depths of life’s abyss, but never be drowned in its swirling, but remain heaven focused, and soul-salvation driven? To read of this great man, is to read of a broken man, who so humbly understood who he was, and through it so willingly gave up all for the sake of Christ.

As one looks to the life of Paul, time and again we see this hero of the faith, overtly condemn himself as nothing. Does it not seem paradoxical in the least? This beautiful paradox is what makes Paul one of the greatest apostles. Jesus said that one who is forgiven much will love much. With greatest love, comes the greatest price. Paul was willing to pay that price. He understood that his life was not worthy of salvation. He purposefully brought forth a life that died daily, and lived alone in Christ. He died to himself without asking questions. He already had the answers he needed in Christ alone. If Christ could die to Himself and pick up His cross, Paul maintained that Christ now living in him would also allow him to die to himself.

Death to Ambition

For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them – yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.
I Corinthians 15:9-10 (NIV)

Paul accomplished much not because his aim was to accomplish them. His aim was to fulfill God’s purpose in his life. He was the willing tool in the hand of a masterful God, sharpened and oiled to do mighty exploits. Prior to his salvation, Paul was a persecutor of the church. His highest aim, and loftiest ambition, was to kill the church. He traveled far and wide to accomplish this task. He was driven by earthly, lustful, demonic ambition. This ambition was the crucifix that kept Paul grounded in Christ after his salvation. He realized how great a sinner he was, and consequently understood that ambition, which is self-motivated, can lead you nowhere. What held Paul secure was that now he did what he did for God. He was not prideful of that realization, but understood that his humility attuned to God’s grace, was what gave Him the ability to accomplish all that he did.

A Life of Brokenness

This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.
I Timothy 1:15 (NKJV)

Paul lived a life that was exemplary in all respects, and exceptional in all that he did. It is a paradox that such a man who accomplished some of the most amazing things for God, could consider himself the chief of sinners. If a conversation with this great apostle were meditated on, it would be his understanding of himself in light of who God is. Paul’s words, “our righteousness is as filthy rags…,” makes perfect sense, because this man understood that we cannot reach God on our ability. We may strain as far as our human spirit may do so to reach God, but it all is in vain. Paul came from a pharisaical background of pride and self-preservation, but in Christ he was able to bring himself low. He understood that he was not the man that he was because of himself, but he was nothing more than what Christ was in him.

A Call to Brokenness

As I look at the life of Paul, I realize the inefficiencies within my own life. How willing am I to be considered the scum of the earth? How do I take hardships? Where do I find my strength? All too often, the focus transfers from God to self. All too often, I think I know what I’m doing. But really, do I know what I’m doing? If the greatest of them all, considered himself unworthy of the gospel, how prideful am I to take God for granted? Paul illustrates to me, the deathly realization that God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, and that I, a mere human, am insignificant, lowly, and imperfect. The more I can realize that I need God to control me, the more I can die to myself in Him, then and only then will I accomplish anything for God.

I rarely do personal blogs on here.. well except for when my beautiful niece was born. Other than that, I don't think I've really written anything that really belongs at daycruise.net (my personal blog). I just thought I'd share my testimony of the past week with you. My friends can attest to the fact that my spiritual life always consists of ups and downs. I am either hot or cold depending on the situation. It's a very weak form of living for Christ, and I can completely concur with that. When it comes to faith, I have very little and really pale in comparison to the amount of faith my parents have in God. Their entire lives are built around the concept of putting complete trust in God, no matter what the circumstance. I can provide you with situation after situation where I have been amazed not just at how much faith they have but also how much God has come through for us. And there, in this stronghold of faith, I sit; a pathetic individual who usually cowers at most signs of trouble and is generally weak in areas of spiritual matters. I say this only to lead you to where I'm coming next. I've found that the toughest times an individual goes through happens for one of two reasons:

1.) God desires to discipline him.

2.) God seeks to make him stronger by allowing for him to go through certain trials and tribulations.

 The past few years, I have experience both on a large scale. On many occasions while I went through these things, I would act as naturally as a human being would. I would complain about my situation, I would cry out to God, or be angry at God. Yet, I believe now after all that I have been through, I can say to any person going through a hardship that God will come through for you. I sincerely believe it. With my shoddy writing skills, I can tell you that this is the best way I can express how wonderful God is. I'm not seeking to flower my language while I write this since I write just out of my heart. You have to understand as an individual how much God really just adores you. You are His creation! You are one out of six billion human beings on a small planet in the galaxy created by Him! He still sought you out or is seeking you out right now. Just this last week, I was aching in my heart. I thought something was right for me and now it is apparent that God didn't feel the same way. I really didn't realize how to react on Sunday as I walked into church. I came in late and sat at the back: another Sunday would go by with my attitude soured by what had happend during the week. The worship had already begun. The band was singing "Here I Am" as I stood half-heartedly.

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now that's part of the song, but I'm unsure if the group sang this first because I had come in late. I remember the next part clearly though. My youth group knows one thing about me. I will not fail to shed tears in worship. It's really pathetic to see a guy with a meesha stand there and sob like a little kid, but that's what I'm reduced to in the presence of an Almighty God. And I had the same reaction as the voice of the worshippers carried over the congregration. As I contemplated quietly the immense love of God, the words came through and pierced my heart:

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

The greatest love of all. I quietly thought that over and over in my heart as the tears welled up. No matter what you think you have lost or what you think you're worth-- The only thing that truly matters is what you have because of His sacrifice. The band's voice just seemed to rise as they came to the next part; this is where I raised my hand in total surrender and kept one hand on my heart as I cried quietly to my God:

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Once again, that word 'love' seemed to jump out of that entire song and slap me in the face repeatedly. We have a culture that puts pressure on us to feel loved. We feel the pressure to have a partner to share that love. While these are all wonderful things, no one should capture your heart like Christ should. I felt the awesome presence of God in my heart and felt exactly as the song said. I was empty handed, without much to call my own in this world. But here I was, alive and well-- living and breathing in the hands of my Savior. And the tears flowed freely. No matter what, God was there. While I write, that moment comes back to me, and again I cry. I am not ashamed since the tears flow freely for Him. And finally the last words I remember before I quietly prayed to God:

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

The last line should jump out at us. We are sanctified by glory and fire. Glory and Fire can not come from us. Thus, we are sanctified by God. Let's allow God to do that with us, to sanctify us so we can become worthy of His presence more and more.

It's really hard for me to express in words just how great I feel. I think some people in my youth group would have understood my whole post if I just wrote God is Good. Those three words could sum up how I feel right now.  

It's 8 A.M.

I just spent a few minutes praying to God. I don't think I've had such a great time before. Communion with God is an amazing and sweet time. Take some time today and spend a few minutes with Him. Pray to him and seek him, but most of all, commune with Him.

For He desires to do the same with you.  

The Birds and the Bees

It's springtime, and with birds also come the bees. If you know what I mean, then you'll also understand that romance is everywhere. You see it on college campuses, and high school hallways. Springtime usually means romance for people. There's a twinkle in your friend's eye, and somehow maybe you know something's up. Maybe you're the one who's love struck. Whatever the case may be, there's something in the air, and it's easy to get caught up in it.

With Valentines Day around the corner, the feelings of the heart surface easily. When that special day comes around, there will be a flurry of activity, as people buy cards, flowers, gifts, etc. for their special someone. Many people will be walking in the clouds the next few days, while other's may come crashing down. Romance is a tough nut to crack.

In this season, as Christ-followers we must ask ourselves a few questions when it comes to relationships. How do we handle them? Are the attitudes we have, wholesome or depraved? Do I think I know how to handle a relationship? How accountable are we in our relationships? Have I set standards for myself, that will guard my heart? How committed are you to following God's purposes in the relationship you're cultivating?

We were created for romance

We are created for the purpose of relationships. When God created Adam, He also created Eve. He realized that their is a place in our hearts that require friendship, companionship, and belonging. God could not fill that place in Adam's life, so God created Eve. In the same light, we desire friendship, companionship, and belonging. This is why we are attracted to the opposite sex. We are sexual beings, and the height of friendship, companionship, and belonging can only come through a lifelong relationship we call marriage. What I'm trying to say is, God created you to be attracted to the opposite sex, and therefore there remains no reason for you to think it less than it is.

God also designed it that we have one spouse, and not many. He wanted us to be pure in our thought life, and exude characteristics that illustrate our devotion to that one person He partners us with. This therefore implies that we live with a pure calling. We are called to marry one person, and consequently we must remain pure until we marry that person.

Today in your life, ask yourself some trying questions. The Psalms say, “Search me and see if there is any false thing within me...” If you wish for your relationship to be something worthwhile and long term, ask yourselves the hard questions. It’ll save you time, energy, and (most importantly) money.

The Hard Questions

I. Do I like this person for who they are, or do I have some ulterior motives?

Ask yourself the question, of why you like this person. Find just 10 reasons why you like this person, and be honest about it. There’s no use lying to yourself. If your list entails something shallow, you can be sure, that the relationship you’re pursuing will never amount to anything, and all you’re basically doing is living out on lust. Love is a choice, not a feeling. If you’re after something that the person has, consider the relationship nothing more than carnal lusting, because that’s what animals do. A relationship is built on love, not lust.

II. Am I submitted to my spiritual authority?

When the person you have feelings for, draws you away from God’s plan for your life, you know there’s something wrong. The person you hook up with, must be obedient to godly authority in their life. You must be submitted to godly authority. If that means opening up to parents, pastors, or leaders, then it must be done. Let everything be done with the support of two or three witnesses. The reason why you need to submit to spiritual authority, is because they are your covering. They watch out for you, and keep you accountable. If you cannot submit to your parent, when they ask you what’s going on in your life, then you’re setting yourself up for failure.

III. Is the relationship I am pursuing adhering the standards found in Scripture?

The Bible is the standard. As Christ-followers, we adhere to the standards found in the scripture. You may not live by them, but they are tried and true principles that will shield you from hurt, discouragement, and life-altering consequences that come from sin. If you are unsure of your relationship, ask God for wisdom, and go to your pastor, parent, or leader in your life. Ask them to expound on it.

IV. Is this relationship based on deception or truth?

Christ came to bring truth, and be a light. Normally in a relationship, when something’s not right, you can notice it easy. You notice an awkwardness, and it’s easy to catch. However when it’s done the right way, there’s nothing to hide, and your lifestyle is transparent for all to see. Is the relationship you’re pursuing built on truth, or deception? Are you lying to people along the way, or do you openly shine the light on that area in your life.

Living it out – Sowing and Reaping

In your relationships, you reap what you sow. If you reap lust into your relationship, your marriage will be built on lust, not love. If you sow deception into your relationships, you will reap deception in your marriage. If you are not submitted to your spiritual authority now in your relationship, then you’ll reap the consequences of that in your marriage. This is how it works...whatever you do in a dating relationship, it comes to fruition in your marriage. So I implore you guys and girls, get an idea of what you’re doing. Be smart about it. Live with a God-purpose, not for selfish reasons. God made you attracted to the opposite sex. Live with it. Work it out. It says in the Bible to, “Seek first God’s kingdom, and all these things will be added unto you.” Relationships are no different.

If you haven’t heard of Vishal Mangalwadi yet, you are in the dark. Before I write anything of his book that I’m reading, let me give you a few quotes of what people have said about the man:

“He is one of the few truly original minds in the world…disturbing and controversial.”

Professor Dr. Ram Gidoornal, CBC
Chairman, South Asian Concern, UK

“Vishal is authentic. From jail for civil disobedience to church planting, from debate with great gurus and national newsmen to grassroots community development, from video studies to sweltering jungles, Vishal has shaped a truly original vision. This is no ivory tower writer.”

Dr. Miriam Adeney
Author & Professor,
Regent College, Vancouver, BC

The Western world has not been fully introduced to Vishal Mangalwadi, but he truly is making an impact in his sphere of influence in India as well as the world through his lectures and his writing. He is a social reformer, international lecturer, political columnist, and the author of thirteen books.

I’ve been reading Missionary Conspiracy - Letters to a Postmodern Hindu. Captured in this book are a series of letters written by the author to a well-known Indian commentator, Arun Shourie. The author debunks the myth that Christian missionaries came to India as part of a conspiracy to help with colonial rule. On the way to making his points, the author deals with many topics including philosophy, religion, and social reform. It truly is a worthwhile read. If you’re looking for a book that will stir up the intellectual side of your Christianity, look no further than this book. It truly is a great book, and one that you will treasure as a resource. 

I've had this doubt for a real long time and I'd like to hear what you think about  the same.

How obedient are you to speed limits? If the sign says 30, do you actually stick to 30 or lesser or do you go above it?

Where is your Christ-like attitude if you are going above the speed limit??

Otherwise how do you stand all the stares & comments & rude gestures from other drivers for driving just at the speed limit??

I'm the guy who sets the cruise on speed limit + 9 ... 'cos people say +10 will surely get you a ticket.

What kind of a driver are you? I just want to know ...

Gluttony is a sin ... but what about obesity? Is it a mental problem or a physical problem ... I don't know ... but I leave you with a sign I saw before riding one of the nasty roller-coaster rides.

I think it was a pretty neutral way of saying "If you're fat obese, you can't get on the ride"

all the jesusfreaks who also own an iShuffle can now represent, while listening to their favorite christian music.

while gizmodo, boing boing and lockergnome all got the scoop from moco loco, i heard it from jake.he never tells me about his sources. i never ask. the internet is full of shady places and dangerous characters. some things you dont want to know.

moco loco did get me the scoop on Scott Wilson, the designer.

unfortunately, this is another one of those obscenely mallu pente centric paragraphs that seem to come out of my hindbrain every now and then. which is why this post has also been tagged with more than one category. you know how we have this whole prohibition act on jewellery. or as some people would say. "back in the day we would never wear jewellery, but now everybody is compromising with the world"

would wearing an iBelieve constitute jewellery wearing? i don't have one, otherwise i could tell you what happened when i went to church wearing it. yeah, i go to an old school church. but not old school enough for a thambar.

at the moment, an iShuffle undoubtedly makes you look cooler, but will the iBelieve do it? when form meets function, where does it leave the appachen pastor with his "you shalt not have hair bands on your wrists because it is a bracelet and an abomination to the Lord. and to me, and your parents and the church."?

moreover, if you notice, the point of the designer is to use a cultural icon to focus attention on the brand. what could be more subversive than to change it into an expression of your faith?  the idea is so elegant, i wonder if it is an intellectual fairy tale.

People have said to me before that I’m too disconnected from my culture. Within myself I know I’m too connected to my culture for them to say that, but in the way I do things and in the way I live, I could pass off for one who is really not connected to my culture.

I never learned Malayalam or Hindi properly. I can speak enough Malayalam to communicate to my grandparents, but I can’t read or write anything other than English, and a bit of French I learned in high school. I love Indian food more than anything else, but I think this has more to do with my mom’s cooking than anything else. I’ll probably expect my kids to be super smart and get straight A’s in school, even though I despised that burden placed on me growing up.

All in all I’ll probably be more connected to my culture than I think. It’s almost as if I forget sometimes who I am, where I was born, and how my family is. There are tangible differences between me and the average North American. I have to live with the fact that I’m raised between two different cultures. Sometimes I love my Indian culture so much I ask myself how I can stand anything else. Other times I love the North American culture so much, that I ask how I managed to have an Eastern mindset in the Western Hemisphere.

My family travelled around so much that I can truly say I’m from nowhere. I was born in India but I left when I was really young. I lived in the Middle East for 4 years, but I only went to kindergarten there. I’m Canadian by naturalization, but I finished high school in the US. I lived in the US for over 6 years, but I’m not an American citizen. So I would ask myself the question, “Where am I from?”

The clashing of the cultures rage within me daily. Indians expect me to be Indian, while Americans are surprised I’m so American. To me there almost is a blur. I see my Malayalee friends speaking Malayalam to their parents, yet my parents never spoke to me in Malayalam, rather they spoke in English. I know a little bit of Hindi to impress people, but not even enough to hold a decent conversation. My friends ask me if I like a particular food dish, speaking in Hindi or Malayalam, and I have to ask them to explain to me what they’re talking about, only later to find out that I’ve eaten that before.

It’s a challenge for me. Almost like I’m stuck. Nowhere to hide. I can’t go back to India, because I don’t know the way of life properly. I sometimes feel out of place in North America, because it’s like I don’t know if people look at me funny. It’s hard, but multi-cultural people experience it all the time.

I for one am honored to be Indian, but I’m also thankful that I live here in North America. I love my people, but I also understand that I love the American way of life as well. It’s this balance that I have to come to grips with. As I mature and grow I’m learning to re-assess, and re-think my whole perspective.

I would like to ask you the readers some questions regarding Christianity, Culture, and our Relevance to society as Indian Christians in a Western Culture. Take the time to go through these and submit them back to us:

1. Should culture be the primary characteristic upheld after our spirituality?
2. How can we as Indian Christians speak to "Americans" about Christ in a relevant manner, if we only attend our Indian churches?
3. If you were a pastor and one of young in your 'flock' decided to marry outside of race, would you do the marriage?
4. What kind of a mindset should an Indian Christian have when bringing a newly saved person to church?
   
5. Does Christ's love supersede our affinity towards our culture? (this question is almost always going to be yes...so no need to answer it unless you have a different opinion)
   
6. If you saw an Indian on the side of the road who needs help, would you help him more often than if you saw man from another race?
7. Do you as an Indian Christian only associate with other Indian Christians, or do you have friends from other races? If so why do you or why do you not?
8. Have you ever felt racism in the Western culture? Has anyone from the Western culture felt racism when around you?
9. How does compassion and reason play into our Indian minds when it comes to helping the poor, needy, and destitute?
10. How in your opinion can we become more relevant in our Western society? Should we be relevant at all?

These are very serious questions. Take the time to think about them and chew on what you'd answer before you reply. I just felt that with all the discussion going on like it is, maybe it would help everyone reading to set straight a few things before we go on.

Thanks,

Ashish